I’m enjoying the day but at the same time, I am feeling a bit…. How to describe it…antsy. I feel like I need to be out doing something. I feel like I am stuck . I need to do something with my mind today-or get out of this house and just live.
Jake and his little family are playing guitar hero and making lots of noise. Marty is watching some gangster series that used to be on HBO. I’m not into either of those things. Feeling like there is something I should be doing and not able to do it. Does that make sense? I LOVE being home. Don’t get me wrong. I hate going out and doing a lot of running on Sunday’s because I love the lazy feeling and resting up before it’s back to the grindstone on Monday. Not wanting the weekend to end.
Is it the cleanse causing this or maybe my determination to fix the depression that is holding me down? It’s not a feeling of running away—just of one where I want to do SOMETHING.
My quilting stuff is in the same room Marty is watching tv in so, there’s no chance of running the sewing machine. My next project is another jean rag quilt—it’s better done by machine and not hand piecing. The squares are already cut. I’m all out of yarn to crochet. I don’t think I could concentrate long enough on the cross stitch. It would take sitting still too long- and all that counting. No I can’t focus long enough for that.
Hmm…. Maybe God is calling me and stiring my soul. I’m not sure what it is, but something is up. I’m not usually like this. I tried sitting with a book, but I can’t get my mind to focus on the words and really understand anything I’ve just read.
Part of me wants to go to Wally-world and find a good dancing type of exercise dvd. I’ve got some that are for weight lifting and toning, but I feel the need for something fun that I can do in the wee hours of the morning before I go to work. What better way to start the physical aspects of my day than by dancing. I love to dance and haven’t done it for years and years. I need fun, not strict repetitive sets.
So, what is causing this unrest in me?
One thing I have found today though. My stress eating has calmed way down. I bought lots of fresh broccoli, cauliflower, celery and carrots. I made the "onion onion" dip from pampered chef and have a plate of it sitting on the counter. When I feel the urge, I grab something from that plate. I’m not needing to have something in my mouth 24/7 today. I feel full and satisfied. Is that another reason for the antsy feeling? Nothing to do with my hands… my hands not stuffing my face. Hmmm… something to think about.