If you remember, I told you about a daily devotional book I'm reading entitled "Faithfully Fit" by Claire Cloninger and Laura Barr. It's been extremely motivational for me. It's supposed to help you get your eating under control. Yet, I find it's helping me more in other areas of my life.
The other day I experienced the blanket of fog obscuring my view, but when I looked up-- everything was crystal clear.
Well, today in the book I read :
" The Lord who loves us is always drawing us out of ourselves, to Him. He longs to give us His perspective on problems and to elevate our spirits as well as our outlooks... Rather than becoming bogged down in thoughts of what we should do and ought to do , we can gaze upward at the one who gives us grace to overcome in ways we never thought possible"
You see, I've asked God to show me He is there without a shadow of a doubt. I needed to see HIm, feel Him. I needed proof. I've felt abandoned, rejected and lost for so long. I've felt my prayers had fallen on deaf ears or simply ignored- Prayers for my husband--People all over the world pray for him, for us....but the despair kept growing. The sense of being alone deepened. I felt everything was closing in on me. I was getting sarcastic when people told me to keep my eyes on God, keep praying and keep the faith. I was feeling my faith slip away. I was losing my way in the fog of life's circumstances wondering if God was really there.
Then in the midst of the fog that morning, I heard the voice telling me "Look up" and everything was crystal clear.
I physically experienced God telling me to look up and then read about the very same thing.
What I've been shown by God Himself--
When life closes in on you, look up. Look to me. I am here.
Today's Scripture from the book~
~ I lift up my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven. ~ Psalm 123:1 NIV
and today's Food for Thought:
We are so much more than mere bodies. By looking up we focus on the one who made us. We stay in touch with the spiritual dimension of who we are in Him and we are strengthened and encouraged to take care of these bodies with which he has gifted us.
~*~
My food for thought: God answers your prayers-- sometimes you see it, sometimes you don't. It just depends on how thick the fog is you are surrounded by and if you've looked up instead of into that fog.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Fog in the journey
I woke up this morning to the news that the man I did not vote for will become president. My first thoughts for the day were "Oh Crap, what have they done." Not a great way to start the day.
I got up, ready for work and fed the cats as usual before heading out the door. As I opened the door, I was met with a fuzzy view and thought to myself ,"Man do my glasses need cleaned. I can barely see." Then my brain cleared and I realized it wasn't my glasses, but fog. I could see clearly, but yet I was blinded by what was surrounding me and I had no way of getting around it. I couldn't go back inside and hide while I waited for it to clear as my responsibilities in life wouldn't let me.
The mist was thick and dense and gave me a deep foreboding feeling. It blanketed everything around me. I could hardly see the car parked just a few feet away. Yet, when I looked up it was crystal clear and I could see the stars shining brightly.When you only look at what's around you , your vision narrows to only what you see. But, when you look up to the heavens, you could see forever. It was a very strange feeling.
I thought to myself, "This could be a sign of things to come with two different interpretations. One being fear of the unknown that usually ends up in a scary mess ~ aka Hollywood Horror Films where the fog surrounds you right before the bad guy comes to get you ~ or a blanket surrounding you telling you everything will be ok." The bad part about the second interpretation is that blanket has been pulled over your head so that you can't see what is right in front of you. Again, leaving you with the unknown. When you are little and you pull the covers over your head, you feel kinda safe and protected. Nothing bad can get you if you don't see it coming. You are hidden from it all , safe in your own little cocoon of softness. Too bad it didn't really work that way, then again everyone would spend their life wrapped up in their comfy quilts instead of living as God intended.
It was very erie and down right scary at times driving to work. It left me with the hairs sticking up on the nape of my neck wondering what was going to jump out at me, what the day would bring or perhaps even the next year or so to come.
Even though I went through it all in fear, I went with the faith that I would be taken care of and kept safe. Sometimes I thank God I can't see what is ahead of me. If I could, perhaps I would never go. The destination may be wonderful, but the journey to get there ........... is the road we are on.
Pray the fog clears and we all get there safely!
I got up, ready for work and fed the cats as usual before heading out the door. As I opened the door, I was met with a fuzzy view and thought to myself ,"Man do my glasses need cleaned. I can barely see." Then my brain cleared and I realized it wasn't my glasses, but fog. I could see clearly, but yet I was blinded by what was surrounding me and I had no way of getting around it. I couldn't go back inside and hide while I waited for it to clear as my responsibilities in life wouldn't let me.
The mist was thick and dense and gave me a deep foreboding feeling. It blanketed everything around me. I could hardly see the car parked just a few feet away. Yet, when I looked up it was crystal clear and I could see the stars shining brightly.When you only look at what's around you , your vision narrows to only what you see. But, when you look up to the heavens, you could see forever. It was a very strange feeling.
I thought to myself, "This could be a sign of things to come with two different interpretations. One being fear of the unknown that usually ends up in a scary mess ~ aka Hollywood Horror Films where the fog surrounds you right before the bad guy comes to get you ~ or a blanket surrounding you telling you everything will be ok." The bad part about the second interpretation is that blanket has been pulled over your head so that you can't see what is right in front of you. Again, leaving you with the unknown. When you are little and you pull the covers over your head, you feel kinda safe and protected. Nothing bad can get you if you don't see it coming. You are hidden from it all , safe in your own little cocoon of softness. Too bad it didn't really work that way, then again everyone would spend their life wrapped up in their comfy quilts instead of living as God intended.
It was very erie and down right scary at times driving to work. It left me with the hairs sticking up on the nape of my neck wondering what was going to jump out at me, what the day would bring or perhaps even the next year or so to come.
Even though I went through it all in fear, I went with the faith that I would be taken care of and kept safe. Sometimes I thank God I can't see what is ahead of me. If I could, perhaps I would never go. The destination may be wonderful, but the journey to get there ........... is the road we are on.
Pray the fog clears and we all get there safely!
Saturday, November 1, 2008
It's been a few days!
Wow, I hadn't realized quite so much time had passed since I last updated everyone.
Since the 17th of October ( my last post), Toadman and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. I lost a total of 2.5 lbs, gained it back and lost it again. And, Toadman spent another week in the hospital.
We went from the doctors telling us that there would be no more chemo... and the intestinal blockage that keeps getting him sick/hospitalized was un operable--- to starting chemo again next week ( unsure of the date and meds yet)-- to the blockage not being severe enough that any other doctor would operate. Hmmm.... bit of a differance there eh?
See, I had a bit of a temper fit with them. Mild compared to some of my outbursts--- but I told them all I wanted a second opinion and I was tired of them giving up on him.This same set of surgeons were the first ones to operate two years ago. We were told that they had done all they could and he would be lucky to live out 2 months.---they gave up on him 2 years ago remember that!!
So, this time around, I said fine, I'd like him referred to the surgeon who did his second surgery. You know him, he's the guy who said only God knows how much time we have on this earth. You gentleman tried to take my husband's hope away 2 years ago .You aren't going to do it again.
Suddenly things changed, tests were ordered, new plans of treatment are devised.... Hmmm...I wonder why? Can you tell I'm still a bit miffed at them???!
Anyway, hubby still isn't feeling too swift. The naseau still persists and his strength isn't where it should be. It's all due to the blockage. Scar tissue has built up at the incision site in his small bowel. It's making life a bit more difficult than it should be for him.He's very tired so, please pray for him.
My stepdaughter Lauren lives in Iowa, and she phoned very upset . Seems she was called and told that her father was on his actual death bed and didn't have much time left. I asked her who on earth told her that--- well, someone said someone said etc etc...and it went from Dad being in the hospital to get the blockage cleared out to never coming home again.-- Many thanks to the in-laws for once again freaking everyone out! Now she knows if it doesn't come from myself or her brother and sister to not believe anything that anyone says to her concerning her father's health.
It's only the second time the in-laws pulled this kind of crap. Last summer, we actually had a Pastor from someone else's church come to the house to make sure hubby was saved and to administer last rights. He was shocked to find out hubby was out hangin' with his bud's and wasn't home. He was even more surprized when we ended up sitting a row away from he and his family at the local race track that very night. He got to meet hubby and said, "You know, for a man on his death bed, you look pretty alive to me!"
You kinda get tired of people and their mouths yakking on when they haven't got a clue..... Why do they do things like that? No wonder hubby hates it when anyone is told he's in the hospital. No wonder I just sort of go into my own little shell and stay away from everyone. We both get so tired of telling people "NO, HE'S NOT DEAD YET! " Tell me please how someone is supposed to stay full of hope when people come up to you all worried and upset because your husband's sister tells the world he's on his death bed?!!
Ok, enough venting about the stupidity of others..... here's some good stuff...
My son's little one may be making her prescence known to the world in a couple more weeks. Her Momma only has 6 weeks to go, but the concensus is that she will be early. They've chosen a name for her. She will be Abigail Eve. Now, I can start planning Abby's quilt.
My daughter is still living with friends and hoping to get her own apartment soon. She's going to be 20 years old this month. Wow, how time flies.
And my stepdaughter Lauren's little guy may be entering this world before Thanksgiving. She hasn't picked out any names, so I can't plan his quilt yet. ---at least that's the way I feel. You suddenly seem to know a little more about them when you know their name.
Babies born at Christmas.... how cool is that?
Since the 17th of October ( my last post), Toadman and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. I lost a total of 2.5 lbs, gained it back and lost it again. And, Toadman spent another week in the hospital.
We went from the doctors telling us that there would be no more chemo... and the intestinal blockage that keeps getting him sick/hospitalized was un operable--- to starting chemo again next week ( unsure of the date and meds yet)-- to the blockage not being severe enough that any other doctor would operate. Hmmm.... bit of a differance there eh?
See, I had a bit of a temper fit with them. Mild compared to some of my outbursts--- but I told them all I wanted a second opinion and I was tired of them giving up on him.This same set of surgeons were the first ones to operate two years ago. We were told that they had done all they could and he would be lucky to live out 2 months.---they gave up on him 2 years ago remember that!!
So, this time around, I said fine, I'd like him referred to the surgeon who did his second surgery. You know him, he's the guy who said only God knows how much time we have on this earth. You gentleman tried to take my husband's hope away 2 years ago .You aren't going to do it again.
Suddenly things changed, tests were ordered, new plans of treatment are devised.... Hmmm...I wonder why? Can you tell I'm still a bit miffed at them???!
Anyway, hubby still isn't feeling too swift. The naseau still persists and his strength isn't where it should be. It's all due to the blockage. Scar tissue has built up at the incision site in his small bowel. It's making life a bit more difficult than it should be for him.He's very tired so, please pray for him.
My stepdaughter Lauren lives in Iowa, and she phoned very upset . Seems she was called and told that her father was on his actual death bed and didn't have much time left. I asked her who on earth told her that--- well, someone said someone said etc etc...and it went from Dad being in the hospital to get the blockage cleared out to never coming home again.-- Many thanks to the in-laws for once again freaking everyone out! Now she knows if it doesn't come from myself or her brother and sister to not believe anything that anyone says to her concerning her father's health.
It's only the second time the in-laws pulled this kind of crap. Last summer, we actually had a Pastor from someone else's church come to the house to make sure hubby was saved and to administer last rights. He was shocked to find out hubby was out hangin' with his bud's and wasn't home. He was even more surprized when we ended up sitting a row away from he and his family at the local race track that very night. He got to meet hubby and said, "You know, for a man on his death bed, you look pretty alive to me!"
You kinda get tired of people and their mouths yakking on when they haven't got a clue..... Why do they do things like that? No wonder hubby hates it when anyone is told he's in the hospital. No wonder I just sort of go into my own little shell and stay away from everyone. We both get so tired of telling people "NO, HE'S NOT DEAD YET! " Tell me please how someone is supposed to stay full of hope when people come up to you all worried and upset because your husband's sister tells the world he's on his death bed?!!
Ok, enough venting about the stupidity of others..... here's some good stuff...
My son's little one may be making her prescence known to the world in a couple more weeks. Her Momma only has 6 weeks to go, but the concensus is that she will be early. They've chosen a name for her. She will be Abigail Eve. Now, I can start planning Abby's quilt.
My daughter is still living with friends and hoping to get her own apartment soon. She's going to be 20 years old this month. Wow, how time flies.
And my stepdaughter Lauren's little guy may be entering this world before Thanksgiving. She hasn't picked out any names, so I can't plan his quilt yet. ---at least that's the way I feel. You suddenly seem to know a little more about them when you know their name.
Babies born at Christmas.... how cool is that?
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